Be Too Much YOU :)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently is this: to be 100% me.

I’ve been around way too many people who try to control me, try to make me feel bad about who I am… I’m tired of holding back on my true self on any level.

I have come to deeply love and appreciate who I am and at any moment I feel bad about who I am is because I know I’m not in alignment with who I am.

If there are some things I can tell both you and me would be this:

Be too much of who you truly are because who you are is absolutely magnificent. Do too much of what you love to do. Say too much of what you love to say. Think too much of what you love to think of. Feel too much of what you love. Because life is too short to not love yourself and others fully, life is too short to pretend to be someone else or hold back on your greatness.

Be too powerful. Too loving. Too free. Too beautiful. Because this is YOUR life baby. And life gives you permission to be too much of yourself. You deserve this πŸ’™

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Changes

I have hit 555 posts on my Instagram. 555 is a number I see all the time and it signifies significant changes in all areas of life happening, which can happen over the course of a few weeks or even a few months. The inner voice. Calling you. Hearing it. Letting it rise to the surface. Bursting. An awakening. I’ve had so many fears and seemingly uncontrollable emotions rising to the surface lately. There were just SO many of them that I got so overwhelmed and felt they were unbearable. My past kept haunting me too. What made it worse was that I kept fighting it and pushing it away. Finally I faced it all. ALL of that muck. It’s harder to hold onto it than to face it, accept it, heal or release it. Life isn’t always beautiful, and it’s nowhere near perfect. Life gets messy, REALLY messy & really quickly at times. And it’s okay. You can’t always control how you feel. Sometimes you just need to accept your feelings and let them just be. 555. I’ve embraced all of the messy and yet wonderful changes that are headed my way. I have absolutely NO idea what is coming and where I’m going but you know what, fuck it. I’ll just let it all happen and I welcome it all with open arms, knowing it’s all for my highest good. Now, I’m not afraid to look back. I can look back and have peace now and not be afraid. I look back at my past and I am extremely thankful and humbled. I am thankful I never gave up. I am thankful I made it through. And though the fears of the future are even greater now, so is my strength and courage. And I’m choosing to dive headfirst into this messy, beautiful, wondrous thing called life. Right now I choose to start living. Amen and aho. βœŒπŸŒˆπŸŒŸπŸŒ πŸ’–

Healing… It Takes Time

This post will be very personal, and a bit of venting as well. My goal is to heal and to bring healing, even if it’s just by a little, by being very vulnerable so here goes.

I am an emotional wreck right now. I need to do some spring cleaning, not just with my closet but mostly inner spring cleaning. I just got off the phone with my sister and my brother-in-law, and I had to hurry and get off because over the phone, his voice sounded just like my ex’s.

My ex….who committed suicide 6 years ago. We had broken up and left each other on bad terms just months before his death. I ignored his texts, calls, emails & Facebook messages for months. That left me with such anger, regret, and sadness for so many years. I am young, only 24, and he was all I ever knew in terms of dating.

We didn’t have a good relationship, only some good moments that I truly cherish in my heart now. Only recently have I forgiven him and have made peace with him. But I’m having a hard time moving on from him it seems. Hearing my brother-in-law’s voice over the phone made me feel so sad. It sounded way too much like that of my ex’s…

I realize that I’m still grieving. I had the hardest time admitting this to myself but writing it out on here, seeing this with my own two eyes, is helping me to embrace my emotions… even though this is really difficult.

I may have been on a few dates since then but that’s all they were…. DATES. Just dates… It never advanced further than that and out of fear I would stop talking to them because I was afraid to like a man, or fall in love ever again… I gave up on love… But now I am beginning to realize something.

These past five and a half years I have been so afraid to love again, to get hurt, to be used or abused again… But my biggest fear is that I’m afraid to fall for a great guy, a GOOD guy lol.

Although I’ve spent the last couple years getting to know myself and loving myself​, I thought I could heal all that. I thought I could heal that on my own. And although I HAVE indeed healed immensely, there are still some fears that just won’t go away, that haven’t even healed but in fact have just gotten worse.

How much more, how much longer am I going to keep running away from love? It’s killing me and driving me into a depression, and I feel like I’ve been running around in circles for years, man. And I want this cycle to end.

And it’s my choice. My free will. We all have it. We truly do have more control over our lives than we think, even our love lives. So I am choosing now to take back control, to take back my life. I’m choosing to stop this endless cycle now. I’m choosing to say “Fuck it” & to finally face these fears. I’m going to prove to myself that I can overcome these beliefs. I declare this to the Universe right now!!!!!

One thing I’ve noticed about myself over the years is that I encourage others to fall in love and I always feel so happy for them when they are with someone, and I don’t believe all men are the same..only the ones who become interested in me (weird I know, haha). 

We can’t heal everything on our own. We can’t always be a g-damn Super-man or -woman all the time. We need to admit this truth to ourselves more often than we think, and we need to allow ourselves to be more open and more vulnerable. It is one of the most powerful ways to heal.

Spring clean your insides, your within. Do what you are most afraid of. I will practice what I am preaching, and I will fill you in with the deets and keep you updated as well πŸ˜‰

I felt really sad when I first started writing this, but now as this post comes to a close, I do still feel sad but I feel even more bold, open, brave, and risk-ayyyy (lol πŸ˜‚). This is why I LOVE writing. And I encourage you to write more too, if it calls out to you.

Blissings and gentle healing, everybody πŸ’–πŸŒΈπŸŒΏ

Intentional Luck

I don’t believe in luck, or coincidence. I truly do believe everything happens for a reason, even all of the little things. It is through all of my experiences that I have come to believe so.

I do also believe in karma, that what goes around comes around — both bad and good.

Nobody is perfect so I’m not gonna preach to you to always do good. There are even times when I feel so angry that all I want to do is bad, regardless of the later consequences πŸ˜‚
But I will say this, do the best that you can. If you find yourself in a shitty mood, give someone a smile or thank you for the coffee they’ve just given you. If you find yourself in a super on-top-of-the-world and can’t-nobody-touch-this type of mood, then sprinkle that shit everywhere!

You never know who is in need of your love and your kindness, no matter how small it may seem to you.

You create your own karma & your own “luck”. That’s my overall point (lol). Start within. Start with yourself. Give yourself that love first. Your soul is craving that delicious kind of love: self-love. Because the more love you give to yourself, the more you are able to give to everyone else. πŸ’–

P.S. I walked through grass before going into my house and although there were no other traces of grass, this three leaf clover got on my shoe and I didn’t even notice until after I got home. I also believe in signs, and this was my reminder that I am responsible for “luck”, or karma πŸ˜‰πŸ€

Every Little Detail

So there is this person in my life whom I absolutely just LOVE. I love to be around her, I love her bubbly personality, and I love how genuine she is. But there is someone in her life who always tags along and makes it uncomfortable to be around.

Well for some reason I kept thinking about her today and felt that I really wanted to spend time with her & hang out with her, without any attachment to the thought that this other person would be around too. So of course she called out today the blue and we decided to hang out. Deep down I just wanted it to be her and me, not her, him, and me (lol). But instead of the usual resisting the situation, I detached from the fact that he came along too.

I’ll tell you one thing though: the closer I become with the Universe, the more it has my back with EVERY little thing. I mean, EVERYTHING, even the smallest details guys. (This one is for all the ones who worry about even the tiniest things, as I am one of them. πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ‘Œ)

The scenario that happened today was crazy. I unintentionally set the intention to spend one-on-one time with her and the Universe made just that happen — even though it was for a little while. The one who tags along with her all the time lost his car keys, which gave me some much needed time with her. We were able to finally have some much needed one-on-one time for the first time in YEARS. Although this situation was a burden to them, we were able to laugh with each other, share stories, and have some deep talks. …It was nice to finally be able to spend this time with my sister πŸ’–

The Universe took care of me in this situation and gave me exactly as I wanted. Not long ago I would deeply stress about little situations like this but now I’ve learned two very important things to manifest whatever it is that I want: 1. detach from the outcome & 2. trust the Universe to always have my back.

It’s not a life or death situation but I don’t like being around people who make me feel uncomfortable. Since I kept more of my focus on spending a lovely time with my sister, the Universe took care of everything else.

So the lesson in all of this is this, guys: the Universe takes cares of every detail. So detach, and don’t worry your pretty little head off too much. We are so small, so try to acknowledge that. We can’t do everything. The Universe does all that. It works in beautiful, mysterious ways. Just dwell in that deep sense of comfort…knowing that there’s something that can take care of it all for us. Blissings, everyone πŸ’– Goodnight.

Don’t Take It Personal

For the most part, I sincerely believe that we all do mean good … Well, on most days I believe that πŸ˜‚ But in the end, I’m always proven by the Universe and its ways that this is true.
I have been reading The Four Agreements and one of the Agreements states to never take things personally and that anything the at anyone does is not because of any other person besides their own selves…

So if you wanna date that guy, but your Mom is very wary of him and gets angry about it, know that she has been heartbroken by men before. The anger she shows toward you has nothing to do with you, but the anger she has toward a man from her past or anger toward herself because she feels foolish or feels like she could’ve done better. Know that her anger and protection is a weird form of her love for you. She doesn’t want to see you get hurt by any man & she wants to protect you from any potential heartbreak. She does not want you going through what she went through. That is love, is it not?

Or, if there is a loved to who keeps running back to those who have hurt him or her so many times in the past and they just don’t seem to learn their lesson, and if this deeply bothers you and you just wish you can knock some sense into them, know that this is just a lesson they’ll have to learn on their own. You love them dearly and don’t want to see them get hurt, but just remember that you must let them be. Let them learn. If you made a decision about anything you truly wanted, would you really want someone to keep trying to disturb the lessons or experience that your soul is trying to have? No, right. So leave them be if you must. This way, you can focus more on your own path as well.
This applies to EVERYTHING, even the smallest of things. It is much too often that we take things super personally and misunderstand/misinterpret the reactions, words, actions, or behaviors of other. Stop and think, why is this person always so rude? It’s not just to me, but to everyone honestly. Maybe they are just deeply unhappy. It’s not because of you or because of anyone else. It is because of the inner battles that we have NO idea about. We truly don’t know what everyone is going through. Their inner battles are just as great as ours….

So be kind, and yes even to yourself. Maybe you say things to people that you really regret the moment they spill out of your mouth. You have a heart too, your own battles too, and you are as human and fragile as everyone else. Be more loving, understanding, and compassionate with yourself the way you are with others. Because this Agreement works vise versa as well: anything that you do has nothing to do with anyone else other than you.

Sweet reflections, beautiful people πŸ˜šπŸ’–

Bend a Little

Hey guys! How has Hump Day been for ya? πŸ˜πŸ’™πŸŒˆ

Have you ever intentionally experimented with the Law of Attraction?

Too often, we take life and this Universal way too seriously! One thing I have come to learn is that what most people seek is something that has a “fun” vibration to it. So in that case, why not have some fun with the Law of Attraction?! Like attracts like, so if you’d like to manifest something fun, HAVE FUN RIGHT NOW!

Experiment a little! Set an intention, let it go and know it’ll manifest. Set a silly, fun intention. Once manifested, it’ll become even more fun to experiment with this Law! I personally use this practice to remind myself that I AM indeed being heard at all times by the Universe — which I tend to forget quite a lot πŸ˜‚πŸ˜₯

About a week ago, I sent my intention to see if it is possible to see a black cat on a GOOD day. (I am definitely not superstitious, which is one reason this was so much fun). Today I saw a beautiful young black young..and well today was indeed a good day 😁

Happy manifesting guys!!!!.. No for real though πŸ’™πŸŒˆ

P.S. my two year old cat, Ita 😁😽😺

Just Face It

Hey guys! 😍😍😍 It’s been a long time. I’m back for good now. No more shelters, no more crazy cray cray stuff haha. To be honest, after I took my book Journey Within to Journey Without off the market, I lost a lot of motivation for writing and I even traveled and went through a lot hiccups on my path. My path is finally smoothing out again (sort of, lol), so with all the free time I have and with my urge to write again, I should be posting daily once more. Thank you for being patient and sticking with me through my months’ worth absences πŸ™
One thing I’ve been really noticing lately is that as human beings, we all tend to run away from what’s truly going on within. I’m talking about massive amounts of cleaning, excessive eating, sleeping or working out. You name it. We do SO much in the outer world, looking for an outer fix to all of our INNER problems. And the louder the same problems get, the more we tend to do more things that we think will take away all that pain. But listen, this goes for me too : no matter how much you do all these things, it’s not going to cure what’s going on inside of you. None of that inner gunk will never go away unless you actually take time to go within, sit down with that shit, and work that shit out with yourself. I’m not one to talk or anything. I just got done stuffing my face with chocolate covered Snickers ice cream, hoping it would make me feel better and happier and would help me sleep. Maybe in the past this would have helped, but since I keep letting this same pain slide without even knowing how or even trying to work with it, this Snickers ice cream ain’t no solution anymore haha.

Since we’ll probably always do self-sabotaging things to ourselves (part of our human nature), why don’t we — yes, even you, right now — take a moment to really listen to what’s going on. Meditate. Sit in complete silence. Write. Draw. Walk. Fish. Whatever brings your mind to what feels like a complete halt, DO IT. Even just for five minutes. Stop ignoring that silent and yet persistent little voice telling you that something is wrong. Breathe…

What is it telling you? Are you okay, are you not okay? Are you losing your mind, are you going absolutely crazy? Are you overacting, or do you need to let someone go? Whatever you hear, feel it all. Don’t fight it anymore — you fought it enough. Just let it be. No judgment. No one’s judging. Not even your soul judges; it’s just your ego. Let self-love quiet that ego, even if it’s just for now.

Okay if you now know what’s going on, pray for an answer. A hint, a solution, a sign.

I feel like one problem I have is that I do listen over and over again and I’ll feel I released it, and yet the next day I start thinking of the problem again and turns out it never actually healed. Am I the only one here?

Who knows, maybe time truly does heal everything. Maybe once you’ve acknowledged what’s going on within, the Universe will send you a person to help you heal that stuck pain or belief. It may even send you an experience, your life may be turned upsidedown to get you to an even better place in life, or you may just find the perfect pet. Sometimes the answers to your prayers are as simple as acts of self-love. Sometimes it’s more than that.

No one’s perfect, okay? And that’s perfectly normal and okay. And heck, it’s okay to NOT be okay! I feel one reason we all best ourselves up is to strive to be someone’s, or even our own, idea of “perfection” when in all actuality… being IMPERFECT is in our very nature.

Maybe the cure or the solution is to laugh at the drama queen of an ego, and to loosen up and not take life too seriously. Because hey… none of us are getting out of this alive anyways πŸ˜‰

Aloha πŸŒˆπŸ˜πŸ’™πŸ˜€βœŒ

Divine Guidance

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We are not in control of anything that happens around us, but many times we like to believe we are. If we can really do everything by ourselves, then what would the Universe be for? What would even be the point of the Law of Attraction, asking for what we want, or even praying for that matter?

Why pray, and then go ahead and try to do things on our own terms, in our own ways, and in our own timing? Why TRY to make something happen, when in reality it would be very difficult for us? Prayer is a form of asking, prayer is a sign of faith. And with that faith, the Universe can bring to us the unimaginable; it can bring so many wonderful things to us. But if we pray, and take action on our own terms — this is a sign of impatience, doubt, worry, which is going against faith.

When you take action that is not Divine guidance, understand that it is very hard for the Universe to actually HELP you. Divine guidance is NOT all about taking action, taking action taking, staying busy, staying busy, doing something, staying productive, always thinking of what you should be doing. Divine guidance is guidance received from the Universe; it can be an action that you have to take, but many times it is something from within you that you must heal and release.

You see, the Law of Attraction operates on frequencies. Frequencies of course start within your mind — the Law of Attraction brings to you whatever you are predominantly feeling and thinking about. To bring about what you want, you must understand that even though you are a very powerful creator, you are STILL a co-creator, and we co-create using the power of our minds through thinking mostly positive and feeling good. The Universe is the REAL creator here. It brings to us every person, situation, place, thing & etc. TO us.

Since the Law of Attraction operates through our emotions, most of the time we will receive Divine guidance from the Universe to heal something that is within us. Feelings such as unforgiveness, sadness, depression, hatred, anger, fear, doubts, worries and overthinking actually BLOCK what we want from manifesting into our physical realities. You must work through these feelings as they arise, we must feel them, accept them, forgive and understand them, heal them and release them. It is hard but the Universe and many powerful heavenly beings are available at all times to help us release these feelings. Call upon them whenever you want. They understand we are human and we have an ego. Life can be really hard. That’s what these beings and the Universe are here for — to help us out.

This one can be a pain in the ass, but sometimes even waiting is Divine guidance, lol. Really. There are many periods of waiting. But during your periods of waiting, know that you are learning lessons of patience, wisdom, unconditional love, mindfulness, gratitude, compassion, and so on and so forth.

We receive so much guidance throughout the day. Know that taking action that is not always necessary. The Universe and its laws are extremely natural & will work for you and through you, and so you don’t need to TRY or force anything. Much harder than it sounds eh? Hahaha. If you feel the intuitive nudge to take action, if it feels really good, Heavensent, and absolutely RIGHT, then do it! But if your mind keeps replaying painful scenes and feelings in your head over and over again, this too is Divine guidance, and it requires you to sit down and heal and release this.

From within to without, as within, so without. Start within, guys. This is very commonly how things fall into place all on their own. No forced action necessary. Happy creating ❀